In 1985 the genre saw a number of classic films released, each of which holds a dear place in my heart. Return of the Living Dead, Re-Animator, Day of the Dead, Demons, Ghoulies, Fright Night, and Phenomena. Add in the 5th Friday the 13th and 2nd Nightmare on Elm St, and thats a hell of a year.

As you can see, it was an especially good year for zombie fans. Stuart Gordons Re-Animator pushed the boundries of taste and gross out humour (got head, anyone?), Day of The Dead showed just how good prosthetic effects work could be (and how far gore could be pushed), and Return of the Living Dead managed to find a balance between the 2, being the zombie box office king of the year.

Notably, horror/comedies dominated, with many filmmakers finally seeming to get the balance just about right. RoTLD outperformed the entry from its ‘parent’ series (Romeros ‘…Dead’ films) at the box office by eschewing ‘Day of the Deads’ ultra nihilistic tone for a more hip, humorous take on the genre and its conventions. Fright Night was another substantial hit, mixing jokes and jugulars deftly. Which isn’t to say that the more serious films had little or no appeal. Despite being released unrated in the US, ‘Day of The Dead’ still did decent business, as did F13 Part 5 (easily the darkest entrant in the franchise) and ANOES Part 2. But, for wahatever reason horror fans in 1985 wanted jokes to mix with their gore.

And the Italian industry was still going strong at this point. Argento was busy, directing Phenomena and producing Lamberto Bavas cult classic Demons, both of which saw cinematic releases (something which almost never happens anymore) and no small degree of success.

And the iconic moment from 1985s horror cavalcade? It surely has to be Linnea Quigleys striptease atop a grave in RoTLD. Many a horror fan boy wore out their VHS copies replaying that scene.

The film is based on the long running daytime soap of the same name which aired in the 60s/70s in the United States. Apparently both Depp and Burton were somewhat obssesed with the show as youths, hence this film adaptation. So, plot summary:

in the 1770s, Barnabas Collins (Depp) spurns the love of his servant girl Angelique, which turns out to be a bit of a bad move, as she is a powerfull witch, who promptly kills his parents, causes his true love Josette to leap from the local cliff top to her death, and curses him to become a vampire. Beware a woman scorned, eh? Anyways, after Angelique alerts the good folk of Collinsport, Barnabas is imprisoned in an iron coffin, deep within the surrounding woods. 200 years later, the coffin is dug up by some workmen, and Barnabas is released into hip 1972. After returning to his house and convincing current Collins family matriach Elizabeth of who he is, Barnabas sets about restoring the family fortune and fishing company, which was gradually destroyed by Angeliques rival fishing firm Angel Bay. Barnabas also falls deeply in  love with Victoria, the governess of one of the Collins children who is the reincarnation of Josette. And thats the plot. A bit thin, but it works.

Much of the films driving force is Depps deeply camp and gothic performanxce as fish out of water Barnabas Collins. Eva Green is suitably sexy and nasty as spurned witch Angelique, and Michelle Phiefer puts in a decent turn as Elizabth Collins. Bella Heathcote is a bit flat as Josette/Victoria, and Johnny Lee Miller is pretty pointless as Roger Collins. Chloe Moretz is fun as the tripped out teenage Collins daughter Carolyn (who also happens to be a werewolf), and Gulliver McGrath is suitably odd as David (who can see ghosts). Add in a nice turn from Helena Bonham Carter as alcholic family shrink Dr Hoffman, and Jakie earl Hayley as the family servant, nd you have the core cast.

As I said, Depp is the standout performer, especially in the ‘fish out of water’ scenes, and looks to be having an absolute ball. He carries the film, being in almost every single scene, and has surfely added another iconic ‘freak’ to his repetoire. There are a couple of fun cameos from Sir Christopher Lee and Alice Cooper for folks to enjoy, and the film looks stunning.

Some reviewers will tell you that this is a 2 out of 5 film. I think its worth more than that. It contains the most bizarre sex scenes in a long time (vampire and witch have supernaturally powerfull sex), some deeply funng jokes (including an zinger of a masturbation one liner), and some groovy sounds. Rated 12A, I honstly wouldn’t take under 12s to see it, based mostly on the sex related jokes (seriously, I wouldn’t want to explain the purrs like a cat gag to a 9 year old as some poor sod in the screening I was at had to do).

I’m going to say 4 Fiends out of 5.

Roger Corman is a legendary producer/director of exploitation films, who helped launch the careers of Jack Nicholson, Francis Ford Coppola, Dennis Hopper, Peter Fonda, Ron Howard, Joe Dante, and about, oh I’d say 50% of modern Hollywoods power players.

Got that? Good.

Now, ‘Cormans World’ is an affectionate biographic documentary about this absolute legend, featuring interviews with most of the aforementioned folks, plus quite a few others. In the space of 86 minutes, you get a succinct overview of his epic career from his time at American International Pictures, through his legendary exploitation studio NEw World Pictures, right up to date with his latest company New Horizons. Along the way we can see just how influential his transgressive films have been, being right at the vanguard of the change from ‘Old Hollywood’ to the ‘New Hollywood’ of the 70′s and beyond.

The love for Roger practically oozes from the screen as the parade of names line up to sing his praises. Jack Nicholson admits that without Corman, he probably wouldn’t have a career as Roger was the only guy in Hollywood who would hire him during his early years.

The film is aided with plenty of footage from his legendary ouevre as well as interviews with the man himself. Shit, this is almost the ultimate love letter to a film maker by his peers, and is topped off with footage from his long deserved Lifetime Achievement Oscar awards ceremony.

Beg, borrow or steal to see this doco. Its well worth it.

Enjoy, Fiends, and here’s to 10 more!

And you know what? Its fucking awesome. Seriously, this takes everything you ever loved about LBD, and cranks that shit up to 11. The riffs are sharper, the sleaze is well, sleazier, and the gothiness more gothy. Which is exactly what I expected. New(ish) singer Kittie Rachea makes her full debut after last years ‘Moonlight’ digital single (which is also included with the album, as is a re-recoreded version of ‘Pretty But Mental’ from ‘I Use My Powers For Evil’), and proves herself to be an excellent vocalist, as does bassist Will Power. The band has naturally adapted to her different vocal range, and are all the better for doing so. As I stated earlier, this version of the band (version 4.something) is a spiker, sharper beast, as evidenced by the songs on display.

Choosing what makes this album just so good is difficult. The songs are uniformly excellent, the playing is top drawer, and the production sharper. Standout songs include ‘Rockabilly Bitch’, ‘Soul Sucker’, and ‘Seven Days’. And what else to say? This is LBD at their finest, benefitting from what appears to be a stable line up, and quite probably their finest set of songs to date. This is one band which fully deserves to gain a larger measure of success of the back of this album, and hopefully they will.

Addendum: I recieved the physical version of the album this week. And it is a fucking sexy package. You get the album on CD, plus a DVD featuring LBDs music videos, and a short featurette of the band in the studio recording the album, plus a proper inlay booklet featuring lyrics and a list of all the PledgeMusic contributors. And all this is wrapped up in a beautifully illustrated gatefold digi-pack style sleeve. It is really well put together, and shames most ‘major label’ releases you see these days (generic photo on sleeve, jewel case).

Buy this fucking album. Youi know it makes sense.

5/5 Fiends. Perfection, bitch.

And once again, I’m glad to have some new material from Uncle jerry and his band of merry Fiends. This first album of all original material in over a decade features a totally different line up from its predecessor, ‘Famous Monsters’. These days, Jerry Only has assumed vocal duties as well as playing bass, with former Black Flag member Dez Cadena on Guitar and occasional vocals, and newest member Chupacabra (AKA Eric Acre) on drums.

So how does it sound? Pretty fucking good actually. The album is definately closer in tone to the Danzig era Misfits whilst still retaining the more metalic an pop-punky aspects of the 1996 revival. Opening track ‘The Devils Rain’ is the most Danzig sounding track that Jerry has written since the days of ‘Earth AD’, being more menacing than anything on ‘American Psycho’ and ‘Famous Monsters’. But Jerry can still put together a pretty good hook, as the bulk of the tracks prove. If anything, it is the influence of Dez in the writing process that has moved the band on further, adding a sharper, more aggressive, punkier sound to the guitars than his predecessor Doyle did. And the album is all the better for it.

Plus, the production by Ed Stasium (The Ramones) is probably the best that the Misfits have had since their ressurection. The guitars are crisp, Jerrys bass rumbles along but never gets muddy, despite his loose playing style, and Chupacabras drums are percussive and snappy. Even Jerrys oft derided vocal show a marked improvement, seemingly by recognising his own limitations, and keeping well within them. The stand out track is probably the albums openier, but each one of the 16 tracks on offer will lodge itself in your brain, especially ‘Dark Shadows’.

And the presentation is superb. The gatefold CD package mimics an old style gatefold LP, even down to a slipcase for the disc itself. And the artwork is superb, having been produced by Arthur Sudyam (Marvels ‘Zombies’). Add in some fine photographs by the legendary Mick Rock, and you have a package produced by an independant which easily outstrips the presentation afford to this legendary band when the were on major labels Geffen and Roadrunner.

All in this is an essential purchase for all commited members of the Fiend Club, and serves as a damn goo introduction to the band for everyone else.

5 Fiends out of 5!

And its a very welcome return indeed. The album once more follows Steven (who may or may not be another alter ego for the man born Vincent Damon Furnier) as he descends the various levels of his own inner psyche… or does he? The album indicates that Steven may actually be dead, and his ‘nightmare’ is actually Hell itself.

Anyways, on to the music. The album opens with ‘I am Made of You’, a ballard which doubles up as a bedtime prayer for our protagonist, and features heavy useage of Auto Tune. However, unlike your average pop record instead of being used to make the ‘perfect’ vocal, the effect is used to provide distortion. This then trips inot the hi-octane ‘Caffine’, a rocking track featuring and co-written by Keith Nelson of Buckcherry. This song rocks along with a tongue in cheek lyric about trying to stay awake, and could even be the theme song to an unmade Nightmare on Elm St film. This is followed by a gentle lullaby, ‘The Nightmare Returns’, which brings us fully inot the Nightmare World itself. The Nightmare begins on ‘A Runaway Train’, which features the return of the surviving members of the Alice Cooper Band. Follwoing this rock workout is the big, brassy production number ‘Last Man On Earth’, which brings to mind a twisted version of New Orleans jazz.

So far, so good. Next up is ‘The Congregation’, featuring guest vocals from Rob Zombie (who takes over from Vincent Price as the Guide). This is another rocky number, and leads us into the  Rolling Stones styled ‘I’ll Bite Your Face Off’. This is one of he albums most outstanding tracks, and again feature the remaining members of the original band. Up next is the John 5 powered disco stomp ‘Disco Bloodbath Boogie Baby’ in which Alice ‘raps’, complete with references to bling and ‘bub’. The musical direction changes once again with the very Beach Boys-esque ‘Ghouls Gone Wild’, before settling into the beautiful balladry of ‘Something To Remember Me By’, which if there was any justice in the world would give Alice a well deserved radio hit.

Following this moment of beauty is the creepy, haunting ‘Hell Comes Home’, again featuring the original band. This is easily the creepiest track Alice has recorded since the original ‘Welcome..’ release. Alices vocals on this track are superb, expressing the menace required perfectly. Next up is the Ke$ha guest starring ‘What Baby Wants’, a brilliantly constructed contemporary rock song, whcih leads us to the albums wonderfull denouement, ‘I Gotta Get Outta Here’, which has a vaguely country twang, and a wickedly funny final verse/chourus run. The album finishes with the instrumental ‘Underture’ which ties up the musical themes from both this album and its illustrious predecessor.

And thats it, unless you pick up the Classic Rock fan pack, which also features the bonus studio track ‘Under The Bed’ another slice of prime Cooper schlock.

The album is brilliantly produced by long time Cooper collaborator Bob Ezrin, and is easily his best since ‘The Last Temptation’. The roster of guests enhances the songs rather than overshadows them, and the album itself is quite brisk, whipping by in just under an hour. As a follow up to a legendary release, it doesn’t disapoint. It is easily the equal of its predecessor, and worthy of the push it is recieveing. This is the sound of an artist who still knows exactly how to write true ablum, and despite the varied styles used, everything sounds like an ‘Alice Cooper’ album. Even after more than 40 years in the music business, Alice can still show the young pretenders (Marilyn Manson et al) how its done.

Buy this album now, Fiends. 5 out of 5!

Oh yes, I cannot believe how lucky we are here at the pit, as ANOTHER living legend joins the ranks of Pit Alumni……Gynos and Gentlemen, I give you Lloyd Kaufman!

1: Writer, director, producer, editor, actor, the list goes on……..Is there anything you HAVENT done in relation to making films?

Well thank you very much! But I did notice that you forgot to mention the beginnings of my career in film… I was well known as a legendarily poor fluffer on the gay film sets in Hell’s Kitchen! In fact, it was when I was finally promoted to mop-boy in the jerk-booths that I came up with the inspiration for one of Troma’s most lasting icons. That’s right –Dolphin Man! Oh, that sheen still gets me hard.

2: What kind of impact do you see the current US administrations heavy lean to the right having on the independant film sector?

From fluffers to shitheads! Don’t get me started! Troma and Roger Corman are the only truly indie studios left!!! First, Bill Clinton finished what Reagan started. And now Bush? Hey — did I mention Bush was my classmate at Yale? If only I knew now what I knew then… I would have charged him twice as much for all that dope! (I could use the cash to support me in my later years as a struggling independent filmmaker!) These bigots and hypocrites have got to go, starting with the Senator of New York, who’s felching cash from the left with one mouth, and fellating the right with the other. Yes, boys and gynos, it’s time for a regime change in both our government and the elite conglomerates who run the fart- er… artworld.

3: How do you keep going, mentally and emotionally, with all the problems Troma has faced over the years?

Problems? Who, me? What? I’m okay. Why are you looking at me like that? Goddamn, okay — it’s a trial. The dank mega-corporations try to poison us daily — both as audiences (with the automated filmic crap they’ve been shitting out ceaselessly) and as filmmakers (by trying to strangle us out of any distribution in the market). But as long as the film keeps rolling in those cameras, and as long as independent filmmakers can still have any voice, I can keep going. Oh god… who’s outside my door?

4: For those who havent read either of your best selling books (for shame on them!), tell us a little about a day in the life of Lloyd Kaufman.

Well, first of all, I’d tell them to go out and buy either of them at amazon.co.uk — they’re filled with as much sex and guts and vomit and piss and shit as any of my films, and every one of my dreams. (Did I tell you about the dream I had last night? Filled with piss and shit — both of them. I mean in seperate dreams, but still. What do you think this means? Write me at lloyd@troma.com and let me know what you think.) Anyhow, if you’re not going to buy a copy, then I’ll tell you all about the rats. The goddamn rats. Every other producer in Hollywood has assistants, and assistants to their assistants, and assistants to those fucking assistants. And me? Me? I’ve got rats. Literally. All over the fucking basement, shitting everywhere. All over the original negative for The Toxic Avenger. All over the penis monster prosthetic. It’s terrible! As soon as I finish this interview, I’m headed into the basement with a shovel and a can of mace, to take care of those fuckers. After that I’ll track down Andy Deemer, and find out how the fuck we can shoot “Poultrygeist: Attack of the Chicken Zombies!” in four months if we don’t have an army of chicken zombie prosthetics! (Now if you have any experience with prosthetics, go to www.poultrygeistmovie.com and send in your resume! We need zombie chickens!!!)

5: How surprised were you at the critical response to Terror Firmer? Did you feel vindicated? Relieved? Bemused?

Relieved. Really fucking relieved. I held back for fourteen months just so that opening day I could pee all over the fucking trash newspapers. Let me tell you — to piss across Elvis Mitchell’s hailing of the film as “truly scary, and funny” was an experience indeed.

6: What is your opinion on the way some of your low budget peers from the 80s/early 90s (Sam Raimi, Peter Jackson) have infiltrated the mainstream in Hollywood? Is this good for the film industry?
Let spill no ill will from these fine lips of mine. No, no, no… actually, Raimi, Jackson and Trey Parker are geniuses, and all good, good guys. (Trey Parker, of course, wrote and directed Troma’s “Cannibal! The Musical”) They’re having a great effect on the industry, bringing their early influences with them into the mainstream. I also expect Troma alumni James Gunn (of “Tromeo & Juliet”, as well as writer of the “Dawn of the Dead” remake) to join their illustrious ranks soon!

7: Has there ever been a time when you were tempted to move the whole Troma operation out of New York? If so, why?

Yes, once. On November 7, 2000. The day that two-faced Hillary Clinton, the notorious White House silverware-thief, was elected to the United States Senate as a “representative” for New York. Represent, my ass. See my comments above for further explanation, if it’s even neccessary.

8: Out of the current crop of genre directors who excites you the most?

Of course there’s Eli Roth, director of the gore-filled “Cabin Fever” and the work in progress “Hostel”. And I expect grand things from my good friend (and Tromeo & Juliet collaborator) James Gunn, who’s in production on his feature directorial debut, “Slither”. (Keep an eye out for yours truly in the “Sad Drunk” role.) But most of all I’d have to say Japanese genre-bender Takashi Miike. Audition, Ichi The Killer, Dead or Alive: they’re all wonderful and so fucking splatter filled. I love it. “Poultrygeist!” is Troma’s fromage to The Happiness of the Katakuris. As long as Andy can get me those damn prosthetics! (see above)

9: Apart from the money, what made you want to write books?

Money??? I had to pay St. Martin’s Press to get my last damn book published. Plus, I had to give some guy a blowjob. (When I say “had”, it’s all relative. I’m not even sure he neccessarily worked there. But I didn’t think it could hurt.) No, I actually wrote the books to inspire people to become independent artists, and to give them a helping hand along that road. Hell — if idiots like us have been making our own damn movies for the past 30 years, anyone can do it! I like to see Troma as more than a film company — and book company now. Instead, I see it as a grand artistic movement, fanning the embers of indie film into a huge blaze. (See Tromadance.com for more information on that wild fire!)

10: You apologise at the start of Citizen Toxie for the Toxic Avenger parts 2 and 3. Are you really that dissapointed with those films?

I think that they are both great movies in general, but that I personally made too many artistic compromises. I regret this.

11: Tromadance 2005 has just passed. Could you tell the readers out there a little about what went down this year?
For those that don’t know, TromaDance is the first film festival wholeheartedly devoted to filmmakers and fans. Unlike every other film festival, TromaDance does not charge filmmakers to submit their films. It features a range of films made independently, usually without big stars, big money and far removed from the Hollywood studio system. The official selections of TromaDance have been made with nothing more than passion, courage, integrity, and raw talent.

TromaDance is an opportunity for everyone who’s ever picked up a camera to have their work seen without the compromises required by elitist cartel interference.. TromaDance is proud to be the first and only film festival of the people, for the people, and by the people.

This year, it all went extraordinarily well. I recommend people check out the website, at tromadance.com, or pick up a DVD of some of the best entries! You can get those at buy.tromamovies.com.

12: Would you agree with the statement that in the current cinematic climate the distribution chain (filmaker to cinema) has returned to the pre 1960s ‘Studio System’ whereby the major players control what product the cinema goer gets to see? Can you see this changing?

Again, I’d have to recommend my ‘Roid about the Oscars. (See “Lloyd’s Roids”, http://www.troma.com/lk/oscars2005/) Yes — the American film industry has become dominated by a terrifying oligarchy that has wrested control from independent filmmakers like myself, and independent distributors like Troma. Directors and producers are becoming little more than “work for hire” providers, sating the devil’s every whim. The only way it’ll change is if more independent filmmakers speak out to the media and the government, both of which are unfortunately dominated by the same few faces that own the distribution and production channels. Murdoch. AOHell. Slime Warner. Disney. It’s an uphill battle, but I’m determined to make my mark.

There are also promising advances with the new technology and the internet… these may unseat the cartel of devil-worshipping media conglomerates who are the traditional gatekeepers, and economic blacklisters of independent art.

13: Why do you hate Digital Video so much?

If it looks like shit, and smells like shit, and even tastes like shit, it must be… goddamn, this is shit!!! What the… I thought I cleaned up this fucking spot!!! Goddamn rats. Ech. (Did I mention that I’m writing this from the basement of the Troma building? It’s the only place where we can leech the wireless internet connection from the McDonalds next door.)
No — the real problem is that most digital movies don’t have properly-lit sets and actors, and have crappy sound. Both of these can be a real problem when you’re trying to fall into a feature or short. But go buy a copy of Make Your Own Damn Movie, or check out the (about to be released) DVD boxset… I certainly don’t *hate* Digital Video — I just prefer film. (Oh, you should see the Troma library projected on Nitrate film stock — now there’s a technology worth returning to! A pity it’s so explosive.) No, you should check out some of Troma’s latest releases: Giuseppe Andrew’s white-trash Trailer Town, and Mark Hicks’ action-packed sci-fi epic Actium Maximus. And Suicide (aka FinalCut.com) is a splatterotica masterpiece. These are all grand features that make full use of the low-cost and ease of DV. And don’t miss the ninth tenet of Dogpile 95: “The film format must be Academy 35… er 16mm… er video… just make your movie anyway you can get it done. As long as it doesn’t suck.” More info at http://www.dogpile95.com

14: Do you have any word of encouragement for any budding filmmakers reading this?

Do what you truly believe in. “To thine own self be true.” That phrase was coined by William Shakespeare, the legendary bard know for his best-selling “101 Money-Making Screenwriting Ideas.” Otherwise known as “Hamlet”

Many thanks Lloyd…..now, about those rats…………………………..

Be warned, if you are offended by hot girls, and loud rock music, this might not be for you:

Lesbian Bed Death: Moonlight (version 2)

In typical Family Guy style, the episode riffs on a theme, this particular one being an ‘Agatha Christie’/'Old Dark House’  riff. The plot see’s Peter, Lois, and most of the Qauhog regulars invited to a remote mansion for a special dinne rin their honour, by a supposedly repentant James Woods. Whilst they are there, a number of characters are killed (properly, not in a they can be written back in kind of way), before the denoument.

In typical Family Guy style, the gags come thick and fast, with the bulk of them hitting the mark. As is also usual, the style being spoofed is done in a spot on fashion, with secret rooms, trap doors and maguffins galore. Even the re-worked Family Guy theme is a note perfect spoof of countless Agatha Christie adaptaions.

If you love Family Guy, you are sure to love this episode. And even if you don’t, you’ll probably get some laughs out of it. (This episode was broadcast on BBC Three on 8th may 2011, and is available as part of the newly released Season 10 DVD box set).

5/5 Fiends